
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/10941300.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      The_Walking_Dead_(TV)
  Relationship:
      Carl_Grimes/Negan, Ron_Anderson/Carl_Grimes
  Character:
      Negan_(Walking_Dead), Carl_Grimes, Ron_Anderson, Rick_Grimes
  Additional Tags:
      My_First_Work_in_This_Fandom, Give_it_a_try, Underage_Sex, kind_of
      because_Carl_is_18_in_this, Asshole_negan, Rough_Sex, Jealous_Ron
      Anderson, Bottom_Carl_Grimes, Alternate_Universe_-_No_Zombie_Apocalypse,
      Small_Towns, Rick_is_only_mentioned, Cigarettes, Alcohol_Abuse/
      Alcoholism, Sad_Carl_Grimes, and_angry_too, he's_always_bitter_to
      everyone_but_Ron, his_love, Carl_hates_Negan_a_lot, Prostitution, Drug
      Use, Cheating, this_is_really_fucked_up, this_fic_is_incredibly_based_on
      lana_del_rey's_songs, carl_and_ron_love_eachother_a_lot, Daddy_Issues
  Series:
      Part 1 of He_likes_the_big,_bad,_old_men
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-05-19 Updated: 2017-11-14 Chapters: 4/? Words: 7343
****** baby, if you love me, take me to the gas station ******
by Narryfavoritejiall
Summary
     The younger boy walked up to him with a frown and a pointing finger,
     "Don't ever mention his name again while we're toguether, did you
     hear me, asshole? Or your time of 'fucking little boys in the night'
     will end."
     Negan gave him a big smile, "All right, kid. And for the record I
     only fuck you in the night and you're certainly not a little boy."
Notes
     Hello!
     This story contains mentions of drugs, alcohol, sex, prostitution and
     underage, if affects you in any way do not read.
     English is not my first language so feel free to correct me. Please
     clic on the link to know what this fic is about.
     I hope you enjoy this bit:)
See the end of the work for more notes
***** Chapter 1 *****

 
 
 
 
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     =====================================================================
      https://youtu.be/2t7U75T58W0
His head pounded and his eyes closed at the dimmed lights in the small room,
his back clenched at the hard matress and rough cheap sheets, his tongue was
dry but he kept kissing back with confused and quick movements, his body
permitted the hands unbuttoning his flannel, leaving in view his pale chest and
stomach, his pants and underwear were gone since they entered the dark room
that smelled like old deorant and liquor. The young boy moaned softly, his weak
legs parted and his heartbeat went faster, his mind didn't know if it was
because of the alcohol or the rough touches he hated but at the same time made
him crave more, he felt a naked body against his almost naked one, the beard of
the other man grazed his chest as he welcomed the long fingers on his ass, they
touched painfully, he wanted to protest but his mouth let out a puff of air
when the other's dick pressed inside him, going in almost harshly. The boy
groaned and gripped the sheets beside his head, glad this was going fast, his
eyes burned with warm tears at the pain and pleasure in his lower body, his
eyes burned with warm tears at the thought of Ron, his eyes burned at the
whatever drug Negan gave that was making him feel sick but at the same time he
wanted to consume it again. He cried, oh, he cried, the conscious part left on
his mind allowed him to see the wrong but the other part encourage the body
above him to go fast, hard and yeah, oh, yeah, fuck me. He covered up his
sorrys with word and actions, the only thing on his mind was to come on his
stomach with the thought of his only love with dirty blond hair and tired eyes,
but his mind refused and his eyes stared up at the mature face and long beard,
the broad shoulders with a few tattoos, his ears admired the sound of skin
against skin. He came untouched with a sigh and a trembeling abdomen and
twitching legs. 
 
-
 
The soft light of the sun iluminated the room, making it look less shitty, Carl
stared at the cealing, his fingers drummed against the tanned arm holding his
middle, the smell of sweat and sex make him rolled his eyes, he still got the
flannel on him, still wide open, he bend his legs and looked down, sighing at
the red marks adorning the tender, white skin, his blue eyes looked at the
clock on the wall to his right, 12: 58. He cursed and rolled on his side,
pushing the arm holding him away carelessly, earning any move from the other
body. Carl walked towards the end of the bed where his clothes laid on the
brown carpet, he picked them up and threw them to a chair standing in the
corner as he entered the bathroom, he looked in the mirrow and stared quickly
at his red eyes and bags underneath them, he let the water run in the sink as
he washed quickly the dry cum in his stomach. The boy washed his face and
rinsed his mouth.
 
His back faced the bed when he got out of the bathroom, he started to put his
clothes quietly when he heard a deep voice ringing inside the four walls,
seeming loud, "The money is in my wallet. Take whatever you want, kid."
 
Carl ignored him and finished buttoning his flannel and jeans, he put his shoes
on and picked Negan's pants, fishing the leather wallet out of the back pocket,
he took 250 bucks and then threw the wallet and pants towards the man laying in
the bed, looking at him with sleepy eyes and a smirk,"Not a goodbye kiss?"
 
The blue eyed boy send him a glared and walked towards him, standing beside him
on the bed, he bend over to grab the box of cigarettes on the ground, he
grabbed two sticks and then threw the almost empty box to the older man's
chest, he started walking away.
 
Negan chuckled, "How's that little pussy boyfriend of yours? He knows about our
little encounters?"
 
Carl stopped and turned around, he narrowed his eyes, "Shut the fuck up,
Negan."
 
"What's his name? Um, Ron?" Negan smirked, "How's he's doin', his little dick
workin' for ya?"
 
The younger boy walked up to him with a frown and a pointing finger, "Don't
ever mention his name again while we're toguether, did you hear me, asshole? Or
your time of 'fucking little boys in the night' will end."
 
Negan gave him a big smile, "All right, kid. And for the record I only fuck
you in the night and you're certainly not a little boy."
 
-
 
The air was warm on his face as he walked in the sidewalk with his arm holding
the arm the was holding a cigarette, the cars and trailers passed quickly by
him, moving his air, he saw a gas station a few meters, when he stepped into
the grounds of it, he looked at the small foodshop, he thought about the
dollars resting on his pocket, he was about to give in and enter to buy
something, but decided against it when a red trailer pulled over next to him
and send him a loud honk, he ran towards it and climbed the tall stairs, the
boy got in with a quick thank you and shaky hands.
 
Fortunely the old man driving didn't try anything on him or only gave him a
ride and expect something in return, he asked why and the man answered that he
reminded him of his younger boy and he wouldn't want his boy to be alone close
to the freeway and alone, Carl gave him a sad smile and look out of the window,
trying to ignore the though of missing Rick and wanting his help, he wanted to
hug his dad again, to talk to him, he wants him to caress the back of his neck
affectionaly, he missed the kisses on his temple that he received when he was
pretending to be asleep, he wanted to fall asleep on the car and be carried to
his bed, he wonder and wonder, then he guide his hand inside his pocket and
felt the light weight of the cigar, then he decided he should not care.
 
-
 
"Where the fuck have you been, Carl?" 
 
Carl closed the door softly, the loud question rang in his ears, he turned
around and watched the older boy walked up to him with a beer on his left hand,
"Hi."
 
Ron stood infront of him and held the side of his face with his free hand, "You
ok, baby?"
 
Carl shook his head and leaned into the warm body, hidding his face on his
neck, he hugged his middle and sighed, "'m just tired."
 
"Where were you, Carl?" The taller boy whispered, the smell of cheap beer
coming out of his mouth, Carl breathed in deeply and closed his eyes, finally
feeling calm in his body, "I came back from work and you were not here."
 
"I know," The blue eyed boy mumbled, "How was work?"
 
"Don't avoid the question, Carl."
 
Carl clenched hsi eyes, he was thinking about telling him a lie but remembered
the careless marks all over his body, he sighed and kissed the side of his neck
once before he pulled away and fished the dollars out of his back pocket, he
put it in his boyfriend's hand and then held the front of his shirt with small
hands, "I got money today, we can pay the rent tomo-."
 
"You were out with that creep again?" Ron asked loudly and pulled away while
clenching his jaw.
 
"Ron, this is the only way," The younger boy raised his voice.
 
"No, Carl, no is not the only fucking way," The dirty blond haired boy yelled
and putted the beed on the kitchen island, "I'm working to pay everything."
 
"I wanna do something too!" Carl stepped closer and crossed his arms.
 
"By spreading your legs to half of the bar?" Ron raised his arms in question.
 
Carl frowned, "You know that's not true, is only him."
 
The older boy scoffed and rested his hands on his own hips, "This is so fucked
up."
 
"Our life is fucked up, your work is fucked up, our apartment is fucked up, our
drugs are fucked up, our T.V is fucked up,we're fucked up," The blue eyed boy
breathed out, "But that what keep us toguether, remember?"
 
Ron looked away and sighed.
 
"He have a lot of money, Ron, I'm only using him, he would do everything I ask.
He doesn't matter, he is not important to me. You are. You're everything to me,
Ron."
 
The green eyed boy stepped closer and gripped the back of his neck, "You're
mine, Carl. You're fucking mine."
 
"I know, I know," The boy whispered and nodded.
 
Ron kissed him roughly and desperately, his gripped the narrow, soft hips and
guide the boy to him, Carl hugged his neck tightly and absorved the wet noises
they were making, the desperate grips on eachother made his chest flutter at
familiarity and love.
 
"I want to shower," Carl pulled away and took Ron's hand, walking them though
the small apartment.
 
-
 
The only time his dark hair was all pulled back and his delicate features came
in a better view was when he was wet and didn't care, he stayed under the warm
spray of water, welcoming the falling drops on his face and the kisses on his
shoulders, he moaned when the body behind him grinded againts him, his arms
were raised and held the Ron's head closed to kiss his neck and let him ground
his cock againts his raw ass, he felt vivid and content again, the touches and
whispers of Negan were slowly starting to fade away.
 
"Did you come when you were with him?" Ron whispered brokenly in his ear after
a kiss.
 
Carl's mouth trembled with emotion and his tears became one with the water, he
sniffed and brought his hands down to touched the hands on his lower stomach,
"I was thinking about you the whole time."
 
"Did you come?"
 
The boy nodded and turned around with red eyes and pouting lip, "I was thinking
about that time you fucked me in a public bathroom, remember? I think it was in
a gas station when we were on the road."
 
The older boy smiled softly and green eyes found blue, "Yeah, I remember."
 
"I was thinking at the way you look at me when I touch myself in the bedroom
and I pretend I don't know you are watching me from the door," Carl whispered,
making their lips touch, he guided his hand towards the erection poking his
tigh sensually, "I always think about you."
 
Ron backed him agaisnt the cold wall and kissed him harshly, "Please, don't do
this to yourself anymore. Stop going with him, you deserve better, let me give
you better, do not denigrate yourself like this, do it for me. For us."
 
Carl whispered a fake promise that sounded real inside the wet walls and in
their ears, he believed himself for a second but remembered white and black
beard, tanned skin and big money and, oh, he was longer gone.
 
"Fuck me in this wall to forget about him."
 
 
 
     =====================================================================
     =====================================================================
      
 
 
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Summary
     The words go unmentioned in the morning, even for Negan that can't
     keep on hold every word he thinks, when Carl whispers a soft and
     whimpery daddy and tears stream down his flustered face when they're
     laying in the cheap motel bed.
Chapter Notes
     Hiya!1!
     Be patient, this chapters is slow and unexplicit, but it is just the
     beginning.
     Thanks for the feedback to all the guys that commented the first
     chapter=) hope you keep reading.
See the end of the chapter for more notes


 
 
     =====================================================================
     =====================================================================
 
"Hello?"
 
"Hey, ol' man."
 
"Carl? Jesus-What- are you okay?"
 
"'m just fine."
 
"Where are you, son?"
 
"I miss you, daddy."
 
"Oh, sweetheart. Please come back."
 
"Gotta go, ol' man."
 
"Carl- I, Please. Where are-"
 
"Bye, daddy. Love ya."
 
-
 
His head pounded and his heart jumped a beat when the door of the apartment
slammed softly and the sound of keys falling on the coffee table just outside
the room echoed in the dark walls, he moved to the side of the bed that was
next to the wall, he lay down softly and waiting, the harsh boots steps rumbled
when the door of their room opened and closed in silence, the noises seeming
more slow and quiet as the body in the dark stared from above and started
taking his shoes and clothes off, he sighed and climbed the small bed
carefully, Carl streched an arm towards him invitely, getting a hold of the
back of his neck and bringing him close.
 
"Did I wake you, baby?" Ron whispered and rested in the sheets facing him.
 
"Was already awake," The boy lied and hugged they other's middle with one arm.
 
"What you thinking 'bout?" The older boy mumbled tiredly, placing a warm palm
on Carl's back and rubbing up and down.
 
The blue eyed boy kissed his lips once and hide his head on his neck, "Go to
sleep."
 
Ron scoffed, "I still can't get the drunk yells out of my head. I don't wanna
sleep right now, baby, just rest."
 
"Work was that bad?"
 
"Nah, just same old shit," The older boy breathed out and brought him close,
"But I can see you now."
 
Carl smiled a little and chuckled, "Yes, you can."
 
It wasn't weird anymore that sometimes he ended up riding Ron or sucking his
dick at five twentyfive in the goddamn morning just to soothe themselves to
sleep and wake up until the sun was starting to go down again and the older boy
had to get up and go to the one of the few bars in the rusty town and serve
drinks to cranky men that asked how Carl was and laughed with cancerous voices.
It wasn't weird anymore, the time and hours didn't matter, it was just now and
later. Carl got used to the turned hours and naps at random times, he got used
to consume a line of white dope at 8:00 AM with someone pouncing behind him,
either black and white beard or soft chin. 
 
The promises were longer gone and they both knew that.
 
-
 
His dreams had being vivid and realistic, waking up with sweat beating off his
face and wondering if it actually happened just the day after, the dried tears
on his cheeks elevate the emotion to the emptyness and sadness whenever he
thinks of his father, the desire to grab the phone and call him was always
present in the back of his mind, the desire and wantom of telling him 'Dad, 'm
okay, yeah?' never leaved, but his fingers twitches, same as his heart and he
ignores and run back to the old body and experienced mind that is always
waiting for him. 
 
Negan.
 
It always feels so salty and sour when Carl pronounce it, it leaves him with
anger and hate, the mean laughs and shameless smirks send him over the edge,
making want to hit him right there and just take his wallet and leather jacket
that he always seems to wear. He hate himself for not being able to stand away
from him, he hates the reason he always seeks for the man, he seeks the
fatherly sense and comfort, the protectiveness wave, the calloused hands and
rough body, the stupid safety he feels whenever he's around, is stupid because
he knows the man is anything but safe, anything but stable, maybe is just the
way the other's body can cover his whole body and make him feel small, like a
child, like the way Rick used to cover him and embrace him when he was feeling
down and weak, maybe it was the smell of expensive cologne that smelled like
wood and outdoors, and just, Dad. The words go unmentioned in the morning, even
for Negan that can't keep on hold every word he thinks, when Carl whispers a
soft and whimpery daddy and tears stream down his flustered face when they're
laying in the cheap motel bed, the words go unmentioned. It's so fucked up that
he has himself looking at the mirror and thinking of hazel eyes, light hair and
a smile spreads on his face and his chest welcomes the warm running kindly and
serene thoughts acomodating his mind.
 
It's been five days since Carl saw him, his soul felt calm without the anger
and annoyance he always felt whenever they reunited, but he was feeling lonely
in the sad apartment that the noises of sex, yells and rock n' roll could be
heard from above, he grimaced at the beer in his mouth and missed the dirty
blond that wouldn't be back till the next morning if he was lucky. His vision
blurred and his tongue felt heavy and dry, fault in the weed and cheap vodka,
the T.V was on mute and he could only listen to his breathing, his mind
wondered like his hands did against his body, the touch feeling foreign, his
chest went up fast when he rubbed and caress just were he was pulsing, the
saliva on his fingers weren't enough, he stood up madly with a blocked mind and
an arousal that angels could see from above.
 
The sultry thoughts invaded and invaded, his actions didn't matter anymore, the
pictures on the wall gave him nause and he directed himself to the fat money
and old hands.
 
     =====================================================================
     =====================================================================
      
 
 
Chapter End Notes
     Expect explicit sex the next chapter, so you are warned now.
     take careee
***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Summary
     "Just don't pretend like you care about what I do and where I live."
      
     "I do," Negan mumbled as he stared at the dark street, "In my own
     fucked up way but I do, kid."
      
     Carl's lips twitched and his hands and chest clenched, "Just give me
     my money and take me home."
Chapter Notes
     Sorry for the delay, I was so not inspired (so if you have any ideas,
     let me know) and disconnected, but here it is the next next chapter!!
     That I hope you like:)
     Sorry if there are mistakes, is like 3:00 AM and falling sleep lol.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
 
===============================================================================
===============================================================================

"I've been dreaming 'bout Rick."
 
"Have you now?" 
 
"Yeah." 
 
"Why's that?," Ron asked looking for a moment at the the boy and then looking
back at the empty road.
 
"Don't know," Carl said as he leaned against the door, "He looked so young in
my dream like when I was little." 
 
The older boy coughed awkwardly and held the other's cold hand, "Do you
miss him?" 
 
Carl raised his eyebrows slightly and sighed, clenching the hand holding his
softly, then he turned his head and looked at green eyes glancing at him from
time to time, he breathed in an nodded, almost passing unnoticed, the boy
stared at ahead of him. 
 
"Baby, I-." 
 
"I've been thinking about calling him," The blue eyed boy mumbled and ran his
thumb softly on the other's flesh, he chuckled, "But it's silly, right?"
 
Ron shook his head, "No, no, you should call him, if you're dreaming about
your dad, then you're thinking about him. You should call him, Carl." 
 
"Nah, I just-," The younger boy sighed, " 's to much trouble, he gets really
upset when I call, I don't ca- I don't know," he shrugged.
 
The green eyed boy nodded and gave him a tight smile, lifting the other's hand
to his lips and giving it a sweet peck.
 
"He just sounds so broken, Ron, never angry, he never yells at me, he just has
this sad tone when he says my name and ask for me to not hang up." 
 
"Call him tonight." 
 
Carl shook his head distractedly, bitting his nails and smiled softly,
"Sometimes I want to really hug him and let him cook me shitty mac 'n cheese."
 
Ron took a short breath and tap his finger in the steering wheel, "You know
you're free to get out of this shithole for once in a while, right baby?" 
 
"I know." 
 
"We could go and see how're things going back in our home tow-." 
 
"No," The blue eyes boy whispered and then cleared his throat to speak more
loudly, "I don't want to look at my dad and explain why I left without telling
him, I don't want to feel guilt again." 
 
"At least call him," The older boy mumbled and parked outside their building,
"To let him know that you're just fine, baby." 
 
" 'm just fine." 
 
-
 
The warm night breeze made his hair locks run, the windows rolled down and he
breath in deep, closing his eyes, he felt the wide hand in the inside of his
tigh, thumb stroking tenderly. The brown eyes sometimes glanced at him with
admiration and confidence before they went back to the dusty road, the
cigarette on Carl's hand was forgotten and consuming itself in the air as he
let the hand caress upwards and upwards, his mind was blurry as he frowned and
bite his lip, placing his hand ontop of the other's in his crotch, gripping it
as encouragement to keep going.
 
The old folk playing on the radio covered up his whimpers and sighs.
 
"Jesus Christ, kid. You're killin' me," Negan grumbled and abruptly pulled over
away from the street and to a desert rode.
 
"Neg- What the fuck?" The younger boy yelped when the other pulled him towards
him sit on him.
 
"Don't have time for that shit," The older man mumbled as he kissed the pale
neck, "Gotta go to work in an hour."
 
Carl ignored the clench of his chest at the feeling of doing it quick and
without second thoughts, like the way it always was whenever they met up, but
he couldn't help the hard feelings towards the man that act and say in a way
that was exceptionally crude and careless, threating the boy like a quick
stress relieve or a simple doll, it made his blood boil and both fist clench.
 
The older man pushed the seat back and started unzipping his jeans as Carl
imitate him and with struggle took his own jeans off and underwear, while
hitting Negan accidentaly, "C'mon kid, is getting dark."
 
Carl watched him pull out just his dick and lick his long fingers and brought
them in between his cheek, rubbing roughly spit in his hole, " 's gonna hurt
like that." 
 
Negan looked up, the lights of the street lights illuminating the profile of
his face tenderly, he smiled widely -almost evilly- ,"And you won't mind." 
 
The young boy send him a harsh glance and jumped slightly when he felt Negan's
penis touching his hole. The air inside the car was getting warmer and damper
by the minute, his skin glistened with sweat and his hair was sticking to his
forehead, Carl was about to make a remark to to turn the air conditioner on,
but was cut off when the older man pushed upwards fastly but not to harsh. Carl
gripped the wide shoulders and rested his forehead on his chin, his heart
beating fast at the almost unnoticed pain and upcoming pleasure.
 
"You ok there, kid?" 
 
Carl shut him off with giving him a wet kiss that sounded loudly in the small
space, he began to move quickly and clumsily up and down and sometimes moving
his hips in circles when his legs ache; his mind never stopped running and his
chest didn't stopped tightening at the guilt he felt of the pleasure and wantom
Negan made him desire have, his blood and system was still intoxicated with
drugs and alcohol he shared with the man, the actions that were being
presenting seem unreal and far away, like a dream or déjà vu. He breathed in
and out softly between moans and groans.
 
"Faster," Carl whispered brokenly as their bodies moved together.
 
"Shit, you're the one leading here," Negan smirked against his mouth but
effortlessly grabbed his tighs to guide him and moved his hips up to meet him.
 
Squeak.
 
Squeak.
 
Fuck.
 
Hurry up. 
 
And skin against skin were the only sounds beside the noise coming out of them,
it was dirty and fast -like always- Carl felt cheap and worthless at being used
in this way, parked in the side of the fucking road, were the loud noise of a
few cars passing right by them, covering up the noises for a little bit but the
reality came back sooner and Carl liked it.
 
He liked that they were fucking outside of the stinky motel with stained sheets
and cigarettes burns, he liked the steering wheel digging from time to time in
his back, he liked the bear scraping against his soft chin and neck, but, he
liked to, loved, he loved the soft but not to so soft face against his own, the
long and young fingers holding his hips lovingly, the opened mouth kisses being
placed on his pale neck, he loved the feeling of not feeling like a rag from
the dollar store with Ron, he was stuck with no and yeah, with liked and not
liked, he was confused and numb.
 
The young boy stared at the tanned face, shit, he was so young, and that's why
he sometimes wondered if Negan cared or had some kind of remorse. 
 
No. Of course no.
 
He came fast and with little sighs, disconnecting for a moment, joy spreading
on his body for a few seconds, but the he looked around at the wide truck with
closed windows and grown up face before him, he closed his eyes again and let
Negan moved him up and down to his own ways, hurt and discomfort appearing but
he ignored it and the fact that he didn't ask Negan to used a condom, he let he
come inside him without protesting.
 
He was so numb.
 
-
 
"You know you could stay at my place, right?" Negan turned to looked at him
with only one hand in the steering wheel, " 's pretty big."
 
"No," Carl said casually while bitting his nails.
 
The older man sighed and scratched his beard, "Well, are you plannin' to stay
in that shitty apartment for the rest of your shitty life?"
 
"Go fuck yourself," The blue eyed boy mumbled tiredly and shook his head.
 
" 'm being serious, Carl, you probably have rats and shit- ok, just, at least
tell your pussy boyfriend to hire a fucking chinese or mexican cleaning lady-
those are the best- and-," The tanned man got cut off by the boy hitting the
board.
 
"How many times do I have to tell you, asshole, to not say his name?" The boy
fumed and stared at him with a deep frown and red knuckles.
 
Negan look at him briefly and then chuckled with rised eyebrows, "Shit, kid,
you're messed up."
 
"Pull over and drop me here," Carl tried to unlock the door.
 
"Hey, hey, hey, calm the fuck down. Jesus christ, Carl. I was just worrying
about you," Negan rised his voice and moved an arm to place it in the boy's
chest, "Stop this, you're gonna make me crash."
 
The pale boy pushed the arm away from his chest and crossed his arms.
 
"Holy hell, kid. You're gonna give me a whishplash," The older man sighed and
found a dark corner to pull over.
 
"Just don't pretend like you care about what I do and where I live." 
 
"I do," Negan mumbled as he stared at the dark street, "In my own fucked up way
but I do, kid." 
 
Carl's lips twitched and his hands and chest clenched, "Just give me my money
and take me home."
===============================================================================
 
 
Chapter End Notes
     Shitty smut ;-)
***** Chapter 4 *****
Chapter Summary
     "Can he provide to you like I can?"
     "No," He whispered, "No, he can't."
Chapter Notes
     Here is my humble offering of a chapter, sorry for the delay, I just
     wasn't feeling inspired and was about to give up on this fic, but the
     comments made me want to keep going so thanks!!
     Remember that English isn't my first language, so any mistake is all
     mine and feel free to correct me.
     Another announcement, if you're interested in the Marvel world —Tony
     Stark/Peter Parker— feel free to check my page out, got some cool
     works in there:)
     Lastly, hope you enjoy.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
===============================================================================
===============================================================================
"Are you ok?" 
Carl shook his head and leaned in backrest of the couch.
"Sweetheart, quit the long face," Rick sat down beside him.
"I just wanna sleep."
"Then do it, Carl."
"But, I can't," He closed his eyes, "That's the problem."
"Can I help in something, sweetheart?" The man asked and got closer
Carl looked up, he found his dad's eyes that resembled his own, he had the
growing beard that Carl liked to secretly caress when the man fell sleep on the
couch with a warm beer on hand and the hair that was getting longer everyday he
woke up. He nodded, "Can you hold me, daddy?"
Rick nodded and brought him with strong arms close to his chest, until his head
was resting on his shoulder.
"Can you kiss me?"
He nodded again and pecked longingly the top of his head after brushing his
hand on his hair daintily.
"No —just — kiss me like you used to kiss mom," The boy whispered waiting for a
response, but Rick tensed his body and Carl gripped the front of his shirt in
fear of being rejected, "Daddy—"
Rick pulled away abruptly and pushed him away slowly, he lowered his gaze and
coughed, "Go to bed, Carl. Try to have a nice sleep."
"Daddy, please—"
"Don't you ever ask me to something like that again," His dad stood up and
drank the last bit of the glass that contained liquor, "Is that clear?"
Carl's bottom lip trembled as he nodded, passing unnoticed.
"I said, is that clear?" Rick raised his voice.
"Y-yes," The boy sniffed and watched his dad gave him a last glance before
walking away. 
"I'm sorry, daddy."
 
-
 
The argent lights of the sign that read, 'Dinner' was a bright red against the
dark streets, the R in it was constantly blinking and turning off. There were
bugs around the light bulbs and the cars passed in a high speed, the sound of
the motor and wheels echoed around the place, before leaving the dusty road
deserted again. He was holding a cigarette with his hand, it was mostly
untouched, consuming itself slowly with the cold wind. The boy was looking down
at his shoes and his back was resting against the brick wall. The loud music
sounded from the old junk box that his boss Simon kept around and the laughs of
the few people inside restaurant were low.
 
His head hurt like his chest was aching and his legs were about to give up. The
lack of sleep made his eyes close for a few seconds until he was nodding off
into the air, the ashes the sometimes fell on his hand was enough to wake him
up completely.
 
"Break's over, boy. Get you ass back inside."
 
Carl rolled his eyes and didn't turn around, he stepped on the cigarette. The
wind created goosebumps on his back and it made him regret not bringing a
jacket with him like Ron said.
 
"I said break is over—"
 
"I heard, boss," The blue eyed boy said harshly and pushed past him to open the
glass door.
 
"Table six is complaining 'bout somethin'," Simon smirked and patted the small
of his back, "You go take care of that."
 
Carl nodded, wiping his hands on his jeans and starting to walk away, but a
hand on his arm stopped him abruptly, he turned around and stared into brown
eyes, "What?" He hissed slightly.
 
"I wanna see you after you shift ends tonight," The older man looked at him up
and down, "In my office." 
 
"I don't wanna do anythin' tonight, Simon," Carl looked down.
 
Simon tilted his head, placing a finger on his chin and lifting his face up,
"Don't you wanna make it up for the three times that you were late for work,
boy?" 
 
The younger boy pushed his hand away, "Negan's going to be pissed."
 
Simon laughed throatily and shook his head, "Is not like he's the only one
you're fuckin', boy."
 
"You're his friend," Carl grimaced and pushed the other away when he was about
to touch him again, "Simon, stop. You're drunk."
 
"Yeah, but, friends share — Am I right?" The man shrugged.
 
Carl shook his head and turned around to walk away, "Discount whatever you want
from my paycheck," He mumbled, "Asshole."
 
After he delivered the food and drinks to the few people in the place, he
waited in the back, biting his nails and listening to cooks talk about nonsense
until his shift was over and it felt like and eternity until he could drop
apron around his waist and walk outside to wait for the old car to appear down
the rusty road. Carl ignored Simon's yells when he leaved the restaurant and
slammed the door shut until the family in the corner stared at him longingly.
 
The night is getting colder and the moon was reflecting in the puddle of water
by the sidewalk. His backpack was resting heavily as the familiar car became
clear by the end of the streets, the only noise was dilapidated tires and the
rusty metal of the doors.
 
Carl smiled small, stepping aside when the car parked slowly infront of him, he
mumbled, "You came."
 
"Of course I did," Ron raised his arm and stretched over the seat to open the
passenger seat, "I got out early of the bar —Hope in, baby." 
 
Carl kissed the boy breathlessly, pecking all over his face and neck, grabbing
the long hairs in the back of his neck and swallowing the chuckled against his
lips, "Let's go home."
 
"Don't leave me with blue balls now," The other smirked playfully and ruffled
his hair, trying to pull him closer.
 
"Stop," The blue eyed boy pulled away, putting his feet up in the dashboard,
his hand patting his own hands calmly, he mumbled, "Don't you see is already a
mess?".
 
"I like it," Ron started started the car, "Easy to pull in bed."
 
Carl grinned widely and slapped his arm, "You're not getting anythin' tonight
if you don't take me to eat first."
 
Ron frowned and gasped dramatically, "Are you fuckin' threatening me? —Huh,
Grimes?"
 
"I am." 
 
"Well, let's take the little brat somewhere to eat, then," The green eyed boy
smiled and pulled Carl close by the shoulders.
 
They didn't talk while the car moved on the rusty street, the only noise was
the air slipping through the opened window and radio playing the country that
Carl liked, he caressed the hand that was resting on his thigh. He stares at
the side of Ron's face —Just for the mere intention of ignoring his phone
ringing in his backpack; it was 10:32 PM and he knew whol called late at night.
Carl clenched his eyes, god, he ignored painfully, even if he was dying to hear
the drunk voice on his ear and burlesque laugh.
 
Carl saw Negan early that day, when he was waiting just in front of the bus
stop, a loud, familiar honk was heard and when he turned around he found the
black truck parking slowly and Negan's wide smile. He refused at first, crossed
his arms and turned his head as a —fuck off— but, when the other wasn't leaving
and Carl muttered that he wasn't working at that time, Negan rolled his eyes
and the —"C'mon, kid. Get in, Simon's restaurant is on my way. I ain't looking
for anything in return."
 
Carl narrowed his eyes when he stared at the brown eyes and for the first time
he saw honesty and calmness. He felt abashed and uneasy when he climbed into
the truck and saw the man drive away in a very dangerous speed, the air
entering the windows made his hair fall all over his face and Negan laughed
loudly when the boy gave him a sharp look and rolled his window up.
 
"Lighten up, kid," He had said quietly.
 
The younger boy half expected to feel Negan's hand traveling up his leg in the
middle of the drive, he expected him to park into a dark corner and make Carl
do the things too that he hates to admit or even think that he likes doing
them; hell, he even expected the man to make him skip work only to book a room
in a shitty motel even of they were not going to do anything, just for the mere
purpose to bust Carl's ball
 
But, what? —Carl blinked when Negan parked outside the small restaurant with a
sighed and stretched over to open his door. He almost punched himself for a
smiling back just a little when the man gave him a grinand he almost punched
himself when Negan grinned wider and motioned with his head to the restaurant.
 
The 'thank you' that leaved Carl's mouth felt unfamiliar to his own ears as he
watched and got covered in dust when Negan drove away carelessly with a last
honk.
 
-
 
"Fuck —shit— I'm — There!" 
 
The street lights and moon light entered through the small window that was
beside of their heads, the lamp in the nightstand was forgotten when they
entered the apartment lost in desire, the clothes were left scattered
everywhere and they barely got to the room when Carl dropped to his knees and
did what he knew best, he enjoyed the soft hand pressing at the back of his
head, guiding and pushing him as he sucked Ron's cock, he loved the finger
caressing the side of his face with such a gentleness that he only felt when he
was with Ron. 
 
In order to avoid the betraying thoughts of his mind wondering back to Negan,
he pushed his boyfriend in the bed and ride him as if there was no tomorrow,
the desperation, the impotence that he felt when Ron held his hips and he
didn't feel the calloused finger tips and the bites on his neck, the fucking
guilt and iniquity that invaded his chest and it made him cry tears that got
confused of being caused by pain and pleasure. 
 
He kissed wetly and messily the other boy's lips, sighing and whimpering
against them as he craved something else —He craved the rough touches and
coarse words, the bites and careless licks, but... Christ, he loved so much
Ron's ways and contrivances, but when he was feeling that internal pain and
self-pity, he didn't want the gentleness and kindness, he awaited for the man
that could make him mad in two seconds but that could make him fall apart too. 
 
Carl encouraged Ron to go stronger and faster, to go harder and careless, but
it wasn't enough —It was never enough. So, he settled in welcoming the kisses
on his neck and the grip on his hips as he came with an exhaled and licked
inside his boyfriend's mouth to ignore the failing of thinking about the other
man the whole time. 
 
He cried softly and Ron held him close to his chest and whispered the sweet
nothings that made Carl grip the sheets harder.
 
 -
 
It was early when he woke up and the bed was cold and empty, the note in the
pillow next to him made him smile lazily at the messy writing. Ron was at work
already and he had the day off at Simon's restaurant, he tried to distract
himself and go for a walk, the box of cigarettes was heavy on his back pocket.
He avoided the street that lead to the bar and he watched the kids playing in
the park of the town with a small smile, but he turned around abruptly when the
yell of a dad reminded him of Rick. 
 
Carl blamed his desperation and apathy when he finally called back the number
that was on his screen several times. He bit his nails nervously when the voice
in the other side was dry and cold. 
 
Even when the sun was shining bright, the air blew around him coldly when Negan
arrived im another truck —He still didn't fucking knew what the man did for a
leaving, but the quiet words that sometimes spread around town were questioning
when people asked and affirmed constantly that Negan was one of the bad guys
and made dirty money; all of those assumptions, at times, Carl sometimes
believed them, mostly when Negan drove around several, decent cars and carried
a fat wallet. Because, no one in that damn town could be that prosperous, not
when the only biggest business was to feed cows and sell seeds. 
 
He chose to ignore that too.
 
The car ride was silent and he almost felt disappointed when the man didn't
held the inside of his thigh or gripped his crotch, instead he was looking with
a frown at the road, holding the steering wheel strongly in changing the gear
carelessly. 
 
The scent of liquor and old cigarettes was prominent in the air, it became
almost unbearable when the man closed the windows and lit a joint of marijuana
inside, handing it to Carl without looking at him. The burn on his lungs was
delicious and he closed his eyes when Negan turned around suddenly and parked
in the familiar parking lot of the Blue Swallow Motel: No Vacancy —The 'no' was
turned off, so Negan booked a room and the old lady behind the desk looked at
Carl with worried eyes when Negan handed her the money drunkenly and then
dragged him out of the small room by the back of his shirt.
 
"What's your deal?" Carl asked once they were in the desolated hallway.
 
Negan ignored him and continuing humming a song.
 
"Negan," He sighed and shook his arm, huffing when he didn't get an answer,
"What's your —Negan!" 
 
"What do you want, kid?" The man looked at him with a bored expression, "You're
giving me a fuckin' headache, I swear to God."
 
"What's your deal?" Carl repeated with a frown on his brow, "I ain't asking
again."
 
Negan chuckled sarcastically, flicking the lit joint down the balcony, "How
'bout that?" 
 
"Negan—" 
 
"Alright, alright. Don't need to get your panties in a twist, baby."
 
The boy glared at him longingly.
 
"If you don't wanna do anythin' you shouldn't have brought me here, then," Carl
rolled his eyes and then stopped his feet when the other held his arm, he
turned around and was expecting to see damn and angry brown eyes, but he stared
suddenly at unexplainable serene expression on Negan's face; he gulped quietly.
 
"Why the fuck weren't you answering your phone, boy?"
 
Carl scoffed and started walking again, "I didn't know it was my obligation."
 
"Hey, smartass," Negan stopped his steps, "Hey—" He pulled at the Carl's arm
roughly, "Don't fuckin' walk away from me, Carl." 
 
"Get off!" The blue eyed boy pushed him away and held his own arm to his
chest. 
 
"Answer my question." 
 
 Carl looked down and a sickening feeling came and rested in the pit of his
stomach when he stared at Negan's eyes filled with madness and anger, a rasp in
his voice that only appeared when he has being screaming to much was present
when he talked to Carl. 
 
"Answer my question, goddamnit!" Negan punched the wall beside them. 
 
The boy flinched and backed away slowly, the wet burn in his eyes threatened to
come out, "Negan, I —stop it— You're drunk," he mumbled and clenched his eyes
when the other came closer and took a tight grip on both side of his arms.
 
"Then, answer my question," The man smirked darkly, "You were out with your
pussy boyfriend?" 
 
Carl frowned and his bottom lip trembled as he pushed and punched roughly at
Negan's chest, he gave the first wet whimper, "Fuck you." 
                                                                               
 "Hey!" Negan yelled and then laughed when Carl stopped abruptly and looked up
at him slowly, dark hair covering blue eyes slightly, "Just answer the damn
question, kid. What so difficult about that?" 
 
"Yes. I was with him. Happy?" The boy said in between gritted teeth.
 
"Sure I am," The man smiled slightly, "Now —Answer this: does he make you feel
like I do?" 
 
Carl tried to give him the most hateful, emotionless and scariest expression
when he didn't look away, but the tear that rolled down on his cheek betrayed
him, he sniffed and closed his mouth tight.
 
"Huh, baby?" Negan raised his eyebrows, he leaned closer until his lips were
pressed against Carl's ear and he shuddered at the warm breath damping his
skin, "Does he make you yell like if do?" A kiss was placed, "Does he make you
moan like I do?" Another kiss, "Can he make you come as fast as I can?" Then a
slow lick, "Can he provide to you like I can?" 
 
"Shut up," Carl hissed and clenched his eyes, his body felt unavailable to move
so he stood still and let the other lick and kiss his ear, jaw and neck. 
 
"Just answer me, kid," The man mumbled, "Not so difficult." 
 
He shook his head slowly, clenching his mouth to try and avoid the whimper and
sigh that slipped from his mouth.
 
"Answer me," Negan muttered darkly against his ear and pulled at his arm
strongly, that made Cark sober up and open his eyes. 
 
"No," He whispered, "No, he doesn't."
 
 
Chapter End Notes
     Damn, the first time that y'all gonna see little Carl all vulnerable
     and shit. Thanks for reading!
End Notes
     Let me know if you want me to continue, more Negan and Carlin the
     next part of the series, this was just the intro.
     take care xx
     leave kudos!!
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